• Blog >
  • Grief 101: What Do You Need to Know About Grief
RSS Feed

Grief 101: What Do You Need to Know About Grief


By Kelly Daugherty, LCSW-R, GC-C, BC-TMH

This list is from my years of experience working with grieving individuals and from what I have learned through my own grief journey. 

  • Grief is normal, natural, and healthy. Where there is deep grief, there was great love.

  • Grief is the feelings associated with a loss. This loss could be due to death, end of a relationship, someone moving away, loss of a job, etc.

  • Bereavement is grief related to the death of a loved one. 

  • Mourning is the outward expression of grief.

  • Everyone grieves differently. Your relationship, the length of your relationship, how the person died can all contribute to how a person experiences grief, and the intensity of it. Even if the person that died was someone that hurt you or caused you pain doesn’t mean that you won’t grieve them. 

  • There are no stages of grief. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote about the five stages of grief for terminally ill patients. These stages were not meant to represent what someone will experience when they are grieving. Kubler-Ross even wrote that she regretted those stages were used to explain grief. Grief is not linear and not predictable. I believe in more of the Dual process model of bereavement, which shows grief is not neat and orderly, and individuals will go back and forth through their grief.

  • There is no timetable on grief. Grief is not something you ever get over; it is something you learn to live with.

  • Everyone grieves differently, and everyone moves towards acceptance and healing at different rates. For some people, the first year is the worst as they experience each holiday, birthday, anniversary without their loved one and they are adjusting to their new life without that person. However, sometimes the second year is worse than the first year as people move towards acceptance and the reality that their loved one is not ever going to be with them again. 

  • Grief bursts will occur. Grief bursts are intense feelings of grief that come out of nowhere. Sometimes you can identify the trigger like a song on the radio, a scent, or seeing someone that looks like the deceased loved one, and sometimes there are no triggers.

  • Nighttime’s tend to be the hardest for grieving individuals as people are settling down, and then they start thinking about their loved one. 

  • The weeks leading up to an anniversary or a birthday tend to be worse than the actual day. Some anniversaries or birthday will be harder than others, and some years an individual will not even know why they are upset until you realize what day it is.

  • Lean into your pain of grief. Trying to avoid your grief will not work. Grief will have a way of resurfacing later in time even years later. 

  • Grief tends to be compounded by past losses, and you may find yourself re-grieving for a past death of a loved one when you experience another death. 

  • Take breaks from your grief. It is ok to do things for yourself and practice self-compassion. Grief is exhausting and hard work, and you will need to take breaks from it. 

Stay tuned for the next topic in this blog series on what are normal symptoms of grief. 

My office at Ushers Park 9

Contact Kevin Daugherty at Greater LiFe Health 

For your safety and convenience sessions are available virtually through a secure web-based platform.

If meeting at the office is appropriate I am located in Round Lake, Saratoga County, NY. Just 3/4 mile off I-87 on Route 9. Easily accessible to clients from all areas of the NY Capital Region including Saratoga, Albany, Warren, Washington Counties and the towns of Clifton Park, Saratoga Springs, Ballston Lake, Ballston Spa, Burnt Hills, Mechanicville, Glens Falls, Albany and more.

Ushers Park 9 Complex
2023 US RT 9
Round Lake, NY 12151 

Coaching/Hypnosis: Kevin Daugherty, CH, CHHC, CHMI
  [email protected]

To schedule an appointment or to obtain additional information about any of my service please fill out the form below, or email, or call me.




Disclaimer: The hypnosis services rendered by Kevin Daugherty, CHHC, CH, CHMI are held out to the public as non-therapeutic hypnotism, defined as the use of hypnosis to inculcate positive thinking and the capacity for self-hypnosis. Kevin Daugherty does not represent my services as any form of health care or psychotherapy, and despite research to the contrary, by law Kevin Daugherty may make no health benefit claims for his services.

Results may vary from person to person. We guarantee the very best service using current information and appropriate hypnotic techniques for your situation.